hey guys! ok, taking imspirations from debora . . . it's time for a substantial blog! and since i'm waiting up erik to get back i figure 1am is the perfect time to delve into my soul, right? let's see. well today i had a serious mental breakdown. like classic. i'm sitting at my computer typing up terms for my astronomy midterm on tuesdae and all of a sudden my head exploded and everything (don't ask what everything is, i don't even know) and i cried for literally like 45 min. i don't know whats wrong with me, honestly. the worst part is that i don't even know why i cried. like you know when you cry you are crying about something? like you have something in your life causing you pain or stress or such . but i have no idea what i was so upset about. anybody out there know? it was very aggrivating. i guess when you get down to it i'm stressed about school - who isn't and erik is causing stress as usual . . . why can't life just be simple? and i'm homesick, like really homesick. i had dinner with becky guyon tonite, which was really nice. ok, i aplogize to east coasters who are reading this: but i don't understand what it is over here, maybe it's just GW, but i can't take how shallow the majority of these people are! i don't know, maybe it's me . . . but i just want to explode sometimes people anger me so. i know i need to deal with all this. part of me wants to transfer back to cali, but it almost feels like i don't have anywhere to go. like i don't know if i want to go back to cali and go to a UC, naw i take that back - i coudln't survive at a UC. so i feel like i have no where to go - no where to belong. it's very aggrivating. i don't know. it seems like everything has fallen apaprt. i know i'm going to have such a hard time coming back here after thanksgiving break. i hope i can make it back. like i feel so alone here. i have this quote from Bush's song Glycerine i love: "i'm never alone / i'm alone all the time" i think it's so fitting of college life. i dunno. is anyone else feeling liek this? i mean i think it's normal but man o man does it suck. i don't know what to do. life is so confusing. i know! i'll put up a new poll and you guys can decide! the michael jackson one isn't doing so well . . i'll make a new one after i finish this blog. tell me what to do! i guess this is a good of way as any. alright, i'm off to make a new poll. k, i loveyou guys - if you have any answers please call, IM or e-mail me. i'm lonely =(