hello all! i apologize for my utter lack of being good on updating my blog - i hope people still read it! =) and i thank those who do! warning: this is a pre-valentines-day blog, which means i'm not happy =) i mean yes, in general i'm happy with life and all, but i am dreading tommorrow with my whole soul. it's just not fair. like i know that somepeople will be like why am i complaining cause i have someone, but i would rather not have anyone than have someone 3,000 miles away. it is torture to see all these people here all so happy. how come they deserve to be happy and i don't? i mean i'm happy - but how come i can't be with my valentine? am i not deserving - i don't understand. it's horrid. everyone else is either going out of town (long weekend and all) or has plans. i will be working and sitting alone in my room (as my roomate is one of those leaving town). this might top out as possibly one of my worst v days ever. but i'm saying that now, who knows what joys tommorrow will bring. maybe i can just ignore the whole occurance and pretend it's any normal day. like i'm not into all that i need roses and chocolates stuff, it's merely the fact that everybody else seems to buy into it all so it's a huge slap in the face to anyone else. it's cruel. argh. i hate life sometimes. alright, i can't deal with this anymore, i'm going back to lay on the couch and pity myself =) hope everyone else out there has a better v day than mine! =) bye guys!